Warp Factor Awesome

Fresh off their tour of the greater Western Spiral Arm of the galaxy, =The Phenomenauts= are now gearing up for a tour of the Great American West Coast. Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Waitaminnit! Even traveling at near-light speeds, a trip around just the Milky Way would take a few thousand years! What gives?”  They traveled back in time before they took off, Duh. Might I add that the boys are looking younger than ever.

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On a related note, there are rumors going around that Corporal JoeBot 2.0 and Captain Chreehos got themselves into a little trouble somewhere in the vicinity of Gamma Velorum A. Seems they take their foosball pretty seriously out there. They will be missed.

Taking their places are new and improved models =Leftenant AR-7= on space guitar and space vocals, and =Chief Nick Wayzar= on space double bass. 

I haven’t seen them in action yet, but I’ve been thoroughly assured that thighs will be quivering with anticipation for miles around. Mothers! Lock up your daughters! And then go see =The Phenomenauts= at one of the locations in timespace below. ‘Cause let’s face it. All the promiscuous sex is being wasted on the youngin’s. They wouldn’t even know what to do with a fine piece of =Space Man= if they had the chance. You deserve it, Mothers In Love’s Friendship of America! Go get ’em!

Catch =The Phenomenauts= at the following stardates:

March 13: Portland, OR @ THE SATYRICON w/Punk Group & Maldroid
March 14: Seattle, WA @ EL CORAZON w/Punk Group & Maldroid
April 2: Hollywood, CA @ THE KNITTING FACTORY w/Peelander-Z
April 3: Berkeley, CA @ ASHKANAZ w/Peelander-Z, The Secretions, and Tabaltix
April 4: Petaluma, CA @ THE PHOENIX THEATRE w/Peelander-Z, The Secretions, and Tabaltix
April 5: San Jose, CA @ NICKEL CITY Arcade w/Peelander-Z
April 11: Sacramento, CA @ THE BOARDWALK w/The Secretions, Cobra Skulls, and Ashtray

And: Coming Soon!
=The Phenomenauts= official box of gravity! Automatically calibrated to your planet! Pre-order soon at the Silver Sprocket store!

UPDATE! Click below for an interview with =Leftenant AR-7=! Secrets revealed!

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